Afraid to Dream

The demons in my head
won't let me sleep again.
Racing in circles around and around
Sleep to dream
Dream to sleep
Dream of sleep
My mind won't shut off
Won't let me rest.
My mind is racing
pacing
tracing
Memories of yesterday, today, and yet to be.
Maybe never to be.
Haunting
Taunting
Counting
Falling...
Medicated
so maybe I can stay asleep.
The monsters in my head
are so loud and scary.
They want to kill me.
Pit of despair.
Cobwebs and darkness
all around me.
Ghosts are haunting
Sadness and fears.
Nobody gets this...
Afraid of the dark.
Afraid of the dreaming.
Afraid of the nightmares.
Afraid of waking up.
Shaking, sweating
Crying in my sleep.
So much aching, longing, to sleep.
The peaceful sleep and dreams of the normal.
Boring.
The curse of being a disturbed soul.
Can you understand?
Not many get it...
But I do. I understand.
I live it every night
In the dark
In my dreams...
Afraid of the dark
Afraid to dream
Dream awake, and scream
Deafening silence...
Listen for breath.
Heart pounding...
Lay back down...only a dream...
But it may be...
Dreaming reality.
So afraid to dream.
Don't...
JJC 11/12/2012