Monsters

"I'm not so much afraid of the monsters under the bed, I will quite admit, I'm mostly afraid of the monsters in my head." -JJC 

Loves me when I'm unlovable.
Smiles when I don't want to smile
Laughs when I don't feel like laughing
Stays awake when I feel like sleeping...
Reading when I feel like tv
Play doh when i ts time for dinner.
Bike riding when I want to walk...
Play at the park when I want to go home....
For all the ways you remind me what living really is, thanksyou. :)

Hurricane

30 Seconds to Mars Hurricane (Unedited)

Escape religion, Escape the system, escape brainwashing, Escape what you know, escape imprisonment, escape death, do not be afraid of that which is taboo, do not be afraid of what you don't understand. Kill what you fear, stop running from it now. You can never be yourself until you BE yourself. Do not fear yourself. Give into desires....dreams can be real, real can be dreams.....be in control and let the control take over you.  You just might like it.   The hurricane is in you, the hurricane is in you, the hurricane is in us all. -JJC 4/25/2013

The little girl just could not sleep Because her thoughts were way too deep Her mind had gone out for a stroll And fallen down a rabbit hole

-Unknown

I Bet Nobody Reads This

I've learned something....even the most normal people are messed up. Messed up in some way. No one is perfect. It's even better when you find people to talk to that are open enough to admit we're all messed up, and nobody wants to change anyone....Just let us all "BE" who we are. Just "be" people....Just "be"...and listen when listening needs to be done, and give advice when advice is asked for. You don't need to "fix" anyone, but "fix" yourself if you feel the need. But do it for you, not for them. Those who know me don't ever really "tell me" what to do anyway. March to the beat of your own drummer, I'm not listening to your drummer. So keep marching. I might not be what you expect, or what you're expecting. Maybe you shouldn't have sent expectations in the wrong field. I'm going for the path that's not so walked on, where it's quiet. Be kind, be compassionate, be sensitive, don't expect me to be anything else. Nobody made me this way, I made myself. And flaws and all, you know what? I like me. Anyone else's opinion does't matter. I've been through some shit. I have. A lot of it most of you don't have any idea, and you all have been through things, and I have no idea, but that is what makes us awesome. That is what sets us apart from someone else. Or even brings us together with someone who we'd never imaging actually knows what it's like to walk in our shoes. Our filthy, dirty, worn-out, disgusting, yet loved and well-worn shoes. They're comfortable, keep wearing them. I don't expect you to understand this, I don't expect you to care, I don't even expect you to understand poetry if it jumped up and bit you in the ass but this is mine. And this is my poem. For all of us crazies, the dreamers, the poets, the musicians, the art-makers, the lovers, the ones who "get it" out there.....this is for you.

Demons

I wonder if my demons will get the best of me. If I will ever be a real human being again. Still feel like going through the motions sometimes. Right now. To be honest I wish I had the guts to cut myself....somewhere. make myself bleed so I can snap out of this funk and fucking figure out what I'm doing and what the fuck I'm doing wrong. I'm so sorry. I'm okay. Just a moment of pure insanity. Sometimes even the nice girl who "has it all" loses her shit too. Finding my bearings, bear with me. ♥ Don't worry, I'm not bleeding and I won't. :/ I used to cut but haven't in a while....I don't feel like it but long for the feeling of bleeding. This is a really deep convo with myself....if I sound manic don't panic! Lol I'm just losing it to get it back somehow. I miss the pain sometimes. Lets you know you're alive. Feel the heat and burn and pain of blood and then hahaha....you feel better. But now for some fuck to ask "what happened"...life happened, fuck you. This hurt is good....don't need drugs with a release like this.

Eyes show and feel it all...Worry, pain, sadness, happiness, joy, etc. I will have to get back to this one and make a real poem out of it. Just taking notes for now.