Demons

I wonder if my demons will get the best of me. If I will ever be a real human being again. Still feel like going through the motions sometimes. Right now. To be honest I wish I had the guts to cut myself....somewhere. make myself bleed so I can snap out of this funk and fucking figure out what I'm doing and what the fuck I'm doing wrong. I'm so sorry. I'm okay. Just a moment of pure insanity. Sometimes even the nice girl who "has it all" loses her shit too. Finding my bearings, bear with me. ♥ Don't worry, I'm not bleeding and I won't. :/ I used to cut but haven't in a while....I don't feel like it but long for the feeling of bleeding. This is a really deep convo with myself....if I sound manic don't panic! Lol I'm just losing it to get it back somehow. I miss the pain sometimes. Lets you know you're alive. Feel the heat and burn and pain of blood and then hahaha....you feel better. But now for some fuck to ask "what happened"...life happened, fuck you. This hurt is good....don't need drugs with a release like this.