Nothing

I am nothing
See me trying
Can't keep doing this
I am nothing
Everything's wrong
I don't want to feel like this
Any more
I am nothing
Question everything
Paint my smiles to worry
I am nothing
Crazy woman
What do you do that for
I am nothing
Follow me
Point out all my wrongs
I am nothing
Nothing's right
All is wrong
I am nothing
You know nothing
Where to turn to
I am nothing
Want to run
Away from all of this
I am nothing
Hurt me deeply
Crying deep inside
I am nothing
Not an equal
I thought I was so much more
I am nothing
I am changing
I am learning
I am trying
I am loving
I am wondering
I am living
I am breathing
I am crying
I am pleading
I am running
I am screaming
I am open
I am forgiving
I am sick
I am tired
I am messed-up
I am music
I am laughter
I am sadness
I am midnight
I am storm clouds
I am sunshine
I am anything
I am who I am...

And who I have yet to be
Remains a mystery

If I am nothing
Maybe I want to be

Just to be...

JJE

Babies Don't Keep...

I don't know who wrote this originally, but I really like it.

"Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth Empty the dustpan, poison the moth, Hang out the washing and butter the bread, Sew on a button and make up a bed. Where is the mother whose house is so shocking? She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo). Dishes are waiting and bills are past due (pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo). The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo. Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue? (lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo). The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep..."
~Unknown

My Horoscope from www.arcamax.com

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You review some relationships with suspicion now. The way you interact with people, or they with you, has to change or continuation is unlikely. Make an effort to reset and reform attitudes and behavior.

Could a horoscope be any more true? Time to re-evaluate yourself as a friend, and even family too. Suspicious....hell yes. I'm not going to be nice anymore...I'm done being the emotional doormat for everyone. I listen to everyone else, and am kind, and I get NOTHING in return. Well fuck that. DONE!!! It ends today.

Untitled

Wrap your icy fingers around my heart.
Puncture my soul with many wounds.
You have no idea what you do.

Snide comments, cruel remarks.
Glares, stares, you rude asshole.

I see right through your selfishness-friendly facade.
And your fake-happy face. Makes me nauseous.

I am so much stronger than you know.

Broken though, I may seem.
It takes much more than something like you
to crush and suffocate my dreams.

You heartless wench, you dirty whore.
Fuck you and your mishapen lies.

I cannot feel for you anymore.
My ears bleed from your lies.

Keep it all to yourself
my falsified, untrue friend.

Till then false friend, be well,
we'll meet again, I shed no more tears.

The words fallen from your putrid, stinking mouth.
Stop-Silence, naieve one.

Your ignorance facinates me...
Small daggers in my sensitive feeling heart.

Someday, the hard way
You'll learn to be humane.

By then I'll be long long gone.

You've had your time,
Now let me have mine.

Stand aside, and take your bow...
The show is over. With no encore...

JJC 11/11/2009